Being a Woman....

It's the most difficult thing to do. Maybe I'm just at the stage of going insane today. Four hours of torture in Mandarin class, another hour of torture looking for CDs which was futile, another hour trying to get home, visiting the 'pasar malam' (night market) on my return journey hoping to get some food and maybe more CDs to keep me going at these insane times which, also proved futile. Even the motorcyclist knew it was a 'slow' day for me as he went topsy-turvy on the divider, flew himself and landed right in front of my car. Thank goodness I was not in one of my car-racing moods.

Whoever said men feels sadness or emptiness more than women? Crazy! At times like these, I wish I could be a man with that 'don't care' attitude and just go on with days like these like nothing else matters in the World except myself. Yes, maybe it is PMS or maybe not. It's just one of those days when you feel that nothing goes your way and life is just so unfair. You so wish to be there but you don't seem to be able to get there. You wish so much that good things would come soon but you cannot visualize it at all. You pray so hard for things to happen and yet you don't know how long still you need to keep doing this and not give up. Sometimes you feel so lonely yet you don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. You just want to stay in one corner all by yourself hoping that this nasty time would pass through soon.

So this is how I feel now. Nothing goes my way. YET!!! And when is it going my way? I just don't know, I just don't know.....