Prison break

Old and forgotten? This lady was a palace dancer when she was young and now

living in the palace grounds, forgotten?

It's been quite a while serving the prison term since my notification letter. It goes this way:



First month : You're ecstatic. You're going through a change after a six-year routine. You feel bad about dumping the grounds but still the exhiliration of something new is empowering everything else. You talk about it day in day out to those who know and you daydream about the change that you would go through, building expectations on yourself, thinking only about the best that's yet to come.



Second month: The exhilirations wears off a little but nevertheless you're still as excited. You would do anything that relates to the change, sometimes forgetting about the pledges that you've made for your daily routine. The future is all you care about, isn't it? Everyone knows about your story now and once in a while they'd ask you when your prison term ends and why this, why that. You creatively think about all the ways of answering to these questions and start to ponder if your answer is really true because now you're starting to panic a little. It is not the same feeling as when you first had the bird in your hands anymore.



Third month: Now you are really panic striken. Did you really get to change your future or was it just a dream? Would people over the other side remember that they offered you the change or they'd forgotten and have taken in someone else because of the long wait? Would they give you point blank stares and ask you who you are when you finally get there because they can't even remember offering you the change? You've finally passed down your routine and now what's left for you is monitoring, day in, day out. You really wish that you could do something more productive during the day but you're still confined within the compounds. You start to feel unsure if the change is for sure or you'd be left with nothing at the end of your term.



The advice from this is : Never ever allow yourself to get into a long jail term. One month is more than enough. It drives you crazy and by the end of it, you can't even remember if you still have a future in this world.