Baby Blues

Besides dressing that thing up in blue, I'm beginning to understand what baby blues mean. It's feeling afraid when there's nothing to be afraid of, having silly dreams of asking strangers to be the kid's father, feeling pity on everyone and everything and crying when watching Kindergarten Cop or the poor kittens on TV looking for their mother.

It does not help when you have the worst child paedaetrician who would only talk to babies as if they'd understand and make decisions with them. It's worse when you see your little one in yellow being put under the blue lights and having a black mask over his eyes that will block his neurons from developing over the two days. It does not help either when you are told by a horrid paedaetrician to stop breastfeeding because the baby is allergic to your milk and you have to watch the poor thing crying coz he has to be fed cow's milk instead through a bottle and squeeze out rubbery stools till his face turns red. It does not help either when you have to milk out and possibly throw it all away in the basin and watch it slowly trickling down to waste. It does not help too when you have no space on the bed and you have to watch your other half sleeping on the floor. And it definitely does not help watching him going shopping for baby stuff, having breakfast and attending functions all by himself.

Such pitiful feelings one has over small matters like these when you have to reverse the hormones that you've been gradually carrying over 38 weeks out of a sudden.