Stuffed with Spirulina

My ex-boss who's now my boss told me before I joined the company that this company really spend when deem fit. And spend they do!

On my first day, they pushed a medium sized bottle of spirulina to me - for free of course. Last week, they gave me another 6 bottles. Not sure what they want to turn me into but the instructions on the bottle did say that I needed to take about 5 to 10 pills 3 times a day. But the thing smells like dead fish and algae and 5 a day is all I could take! Maybe I'll turn greenish and smell like dead fish soon.

When the President first saw me, he asked me if I can build a shopping site for RM150k. I laughed and said that was more than enough. In fact RM1500 is even enough. Gosh, other than time spent, my own shopping site on the internet was built FOC! Of course I didn't know how they'd spend their moolah. On my first week, I was given the deadline of 1st November to come up with an educational site and a budget of RM25k for it. If only I had more time I would have done the site myself and get them to pay me the RM25k!

I requested for Photoshop and Dreamweaver. That was all I need anyway. The IT department called me last week and said these two costs about RM4k, so why don't they buy me the whole Adobe suite instead for RM7k. What can I say? Shucks.....now I probably have to learn how to use the rest of the programs in the whole suite!

And did I already talk about stationery?

Oh..and not forgetting, hospitalisation claims of up to RM150k. And the two collared T-Shirts that they've given to me. Plus my Edmund Ser full set of office clothes later on. Plus they never have warehouse sale so all those slow moving stuff are sold to staff with 85% discount! Boy am I going to shop for stuff that I don't really need!

Culture Shock and Revolution

I actually brought my stationery set to office on my first day thinking that I may not get any except for a couple of pens ala my last company. What a surprise that on the first day itself, I was given a company collared T-Shirt, a bottle of spirulina, some collar pins and a tray full of stationery that included liquid paper, mechanical pencil, post-it-notes, etc etc. Gosh....I wonder when I'll use the stuff especially when I'm supposed to be doing a paperless job.

On my fourth day, I got my laptop only to find that just like any 'Chinaman' company, they've banned access to a whole lot of websites including all messengers, Facebook, YouTube and all others that had women wearing lingerie (Oh noooo....wouldn't this mean I cannot open my Victoria Secret newsletters anymore?).

Thank goodness they didn't ask me to sign any indemnity letter that they'll deduct my salary if I lost that sleek looking, keyboard-lighting-up-as-you-type, 1.92kg laptop. But somehow, I went to Dell's website and saw that the machine costs RM7k before customization and this is freaking me out. I guess the laptop is following me everywhere in office from now on.....

My first shopping spree, REALLY!

Finally! After about a year, I went on a shopping spree - for myself! Thanks to some friends who gave RM200 worth of Isetan vouchers instead of angpows. The naughty little one went off to Toys R' Us while I shopped in delight, visiting fitting rooms after fitting rooms.

Too bad I am a weird sized person now - L for chest, M for waist, M/L for lower waist and L for hips? Jeez...when would I ever be normal again. Thanks to the invention of stretchable jeans, I got myself one pair with the rationale that I'll never ever fit into my size 26 Levi's jeans ever again and that if my waist went back to normal size, my butt wouldn't and that this is still a pair of stretchable jeans so if I shrink it, it will fit.

Oh, and plus that cool laptop bag from Gin&Jacqie that I was contemplating of buying through their website the other day. Couldn't stop it when the price at Isetan for the same bag is cheaper than on the net. What wrong marketing tactics!

Anyway, it's a blissful, blissful day and I think I should take some time to snap pictures of two or three other bags which aren't going to be useful now.

Jet Planes and Car Racing Video Games

I had this weird dream last week. There was an interview for the position of a jet plane pilot and I was asked to go for it. I went and the interview was held under the canopy roof. I had to play this video car racing game and make sure I don't knock dead anyone or involve myself in an accident to qualify for the position.

Weird - I wonder if anyone can help me decipher this dream?